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A little help?..

If your looking to fight, Say something along the lines of
"Dana, after many years of passing on those, nice perky racked, 170 class, college aged bucks, I finally decided to harvest. Yes, my love, you are my management buck! Although it would be a pleasure to have a younger, bigger racked trophy, but I have come to my senses and realized, I can no longer afforded mounting them!(that makes the point you will be Financially responsible)And since your getting past your prime(she'll love that, Trust me!!), it is time for me to belly up, and take a shot!
Honey, I Promise to always continue to look at and dream of those nice racks, but This ring on my finger is my promise that I'll always store my meat in your freezer!!(then whip out a grunt call and blow it once or twice!)

Damn I am glad I didn't write my own vows!
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Dana you are the love of my life. You are as beautiful to me as the late October timber and your love fills me with desire like the first frost of November. I want to carry your love through my life, like the old ghost carries proud through the timber at night. Hand in hand we can walk to our stand and experience God's beauty in life and land . You will never want with me by your side, I am the man who will provide. As we grow old and hunt less, you will still have this old hunters caress. Take me to be your husband and ...... (someone else can finish, I'm starting to get queezy)
 
Friends, Romans, Countrymen, naw

Four score and seven years ago, naw

Ask not what your contry, naw

The only thing we have to fear is, getting closer

Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today, now I got it.

My love, I shall wear this ring as an outward symbol of an inward feeling. To display for all to see my love and devotion to you. I will hold this bow as an outward symbol of an inward feeling. To display for you and all your lame assed relatives that I am as equally devoted to hunting as I am to you. My dear, when the leaves begin taking on the hues of autumn, when the bucks begin to rub the trees, I shall take up my bow and be gone for hours on end, but I will be thinking of you, sitting at home keeping the fires burning while waiting for my call to come gut, drag and cook my buck. For it is written: I kilt it now you clean it and cook it. I fully expect that when your meddling mother tells you that you shouldn’t have to do this, that you will tell her to screw off. Yours forever.

Dear Dana, dear dear Dana, As I stand before you today I pledge you my steadfast love and devotion. I accept you as you are as you accept me as I am for I am the mighty hunter and what ever I say goes and if you don’t like it, tough.

I shall give to you every part of me, body, mind, spirit as I know you will give me every part of you, except of course that coupla days outa the month where I gotta live some where else. Can’t you take somethin for that? I know your mother is always bitchy, and I will love you forever as long as you don’t turn into her. And the next time your loser brother asks me for a loan I think I’ll just shoot him. Worthless no good punk. And as long as we’re at it, could you tell your father to quit hitting on my mom? She says his whiskey breath is bad enough but she really can’t stand it when he rubs his crotch up against her. Oh by the way, your sister is out turning tricks in the parking lot and your Maid of Honor gave my Best Man a case of clap last night. If it wasn’t for that 160 acres of prime huntin ground your incarcerated grampa owns I’d dump you like a hot rock but that 200+ buck is beggin me for an arrow as long as your other worthless brother doesn’t poach him first. One more thing, could you at least have the decency to put your teeth in?

My love, as I stand her before you today, I pledge my never ending love and devotion to you. You are the breath that gives me life, the water that slakes my thirst. You are my shade in the summer and my warmth in the winter. You are my little ton-o-fun. I shall reinforce the bed as well as the trailer floor.

Dana, I’m not a writer, I can’t put my feelings into words. I can only make a feeble attempt to say how I feel and I feel like the luckiest guy on earth to have found you and to have your love as you have mine. I cherish the time we spend together, I look forward to the rest of my life with you, me by your side and you by mine. Your breath shall be my breath, your heart beat shall be my heart beat. As one we shall face the future and whatever joys or sorrows it may hold for us. For our love is the love of ages. I love you.

Any body really know what “Till I pleith thee my troth” means?

The ‘Bonker
 
Or you can use the original vows of,,,,


Dana, I like big butts and I cannot lie, you other brothers can't deny when a girl walk in with a inty bity waist and a round thing in your face you get sprung...........


Or you may choose not to, it worked for me.
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So, were drivng home from work yesterday and Dana asks if I'm done with my vows.... "Funny you should ask I replied"... to make the long story short, I told her about the post. Much to my surprise, she thought it was funny. Then she even said, "well, I included some stuff about hunting in my vows".....duhhwhat?! Okay. I'm taking that as anything is fair game. Well, within reason of course. Now how to be clever about it....
 
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