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Bear hunting in AK

moosehunter

PMA Member
Frank was excited about his new rifle and decided to try bear
hunting. He travels up to Alaska, spots a small brown bear and shoots it. Right after,
there was a tap on his shoulder and he turned around to see a big black bear.

The black bear said, "That was a very bad mistake. That was my
cousin and I'm going to give you two choices. Either I maul you to death or we
have sex."


After considering briefly, Frank decided to accept the latter alternative.
So the black bear has his way with Frank. Even though he felt sore
for two weeks, Frank soon recovered and vowed revenge.
He headed out on another trip back to Alaska where he found the
black bear and shot it dead. Right after, there was another tap on his
shoulder.


This time a huge grizzly bear stood right next to him. The grizzly
said, "That was a big mistake, Frank. That was my cousin and you've got
two choices. Either I maul you to death or we have rough sex."
Again, Frank thought it was better to cooperate with the grizzly
bear than be mauled to death. So the grizzly has his way with Frank.

Although he survived, it took several months before Frank fully
recovered. Now Frank is completely outraged, so he headed back to
Alaska and managed to track down the grizzly bear and shot it. He felt sweet
revenge, but then, moments later, there was a tap on his shoulder. He turned
around to find a giant polar bear standing there.

The polar bear looked at him and said, "Admit it Frank, you don't
come here for the hunting, do you?"
 
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It happens to golfers too:

A golfer looking for his ball in the woods, when he
comes up to another man hugging a tree, with his ear
firmly against the tree.

Seeing this, he inquires, "Just out of curiosity, what
the hell are you doing?"

"I'm listening to the music of the tree."

"You gotta be kiddin' me."

"No, would you like to give it a try?"

"Well, OK..." So he wraps his arms around the tree and
presses his ear up against the tree.

With this, the other guy slaps a set of handcuffs on
him on the other side of the tree, takes his wallet,
watch, wedding ring, car keys, then strips him naked
and leaves.

Two hours later, another nature lover strolls by, sees
this guy handcuffed to the tree, stark naked, and
asks, "What the hell happened to you?"

So, he tells the guy the whole story about how he got
there. While he was telling his story, the other guy
shakes his head in sympathy, walks around behind him,
kisses him behind the ear and says, "This just isn't
gonna be your day."
 
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