Buck Hollow Sporting Goods - click or touch to visit their website Midwest Habitat Company

I'm gonna be rich.

I

Iowa1

New Member
Okay I have been thinking about all these posts about scent and how gullible so many hunters are across the country. We have scent-free this, spray this, spray that, wear this, cover up with that. Even gum-o-flage.

Sitting in the tree stand gives a man a lot of time to think. So last night I came up with an idea that will help me make my first million.

It is called Fart-O-Flage. It comes in a suppository, meaning you shove it up your... well you get the the idea.

Our motto is "Stuff the Stink!"

So what do you think? Are you ready to start sending me your money?
 
Sounds like a pain in the @ss to me!
grin.gif
 
Buddy, you are a day late and a dollar short. Check out U.S. patent number 13,284,478,547,130. It's a little something I called "Flatu-Later". It's really pretty simple. It's a self induced, removable, bowel obstruction. It comes with an applicator that is inserted, the applicator is then hooked to a can of propellant and then a packet of my secret formula is introduced into the propellant stream when the trigger is activated. This will cause a "plug" to form so no flatulance can escape. When you are done hunting simply insert the drill provided in the kit, bore a small hole in the plug, insert the special extractor threading it into the hole and then pull out the plug. Hence the name Flatu-Later, it doesn't change the smell or the stop production of gas, it simply doesn't alow any gas to escape so when you pull out the plug all of your stored up flatulance escapes so you literally "Flatu-Later".

My device has been approved for use by the American Sientific Society of Flatologists and the Fraternal Association of Retired Toxologists.

My lawyers insited that I add a warning to the packing, "Not to be left inplace over night. Consult your phsician if excess bloating occurs or unable to remove the plug."

Honesty compels me to report there was one death during the clinical trials. One of our test subjects left the plug in for four days. He spontaeuosly exploded, in bed, with his wife. The wife will soon be through with her therapy, both mental and physical, but her docotrs don't hold out much hope for either her sense of smell returning or her abillity to sleep in a bed. Good thing my lawyers had the dead test subject sign a waiver of liabillity. Can you imagine what that law suit would have cost my company? Thank goodness for the law firm of Chatem, Cheatem and Run.

The 'Bonker
 
[ QUOTE ]
I think you're late, aren't they already called ___ plugs?
smirk.gif


[/ QUOTE ]

Unfortunatley, over the years, I have been involved in several medically necessary removals of the "plugs" you are refering to. One thing leads to another and somebody says "Hey shove this up my...." or "I wonder if this will fit...." These devices, by their nature, are not designed to stop the free flow of flatulance. Notice the smooth latex exterieror that will allow gas to escape between the "plug" and mucosal linning of the bowel. My device will "form fit" to the bowel causing pressure proportional to the back pressure agaisnt the Flatu-Later plug. The more internal pressure, the tighter the seal. The tighter the seal the safer you are.

The 'Bonker
 
This post is destined for the "Legends" archives. It's got my nomination - thanks for the laughs and I agree, we all need to go hunting and SOON.
 
If I ever wake up and see Bonker looking down on me- I better be a. really sick and hurt in his helicopter or b. have a gun in my hand.
 
[ QUOTE ]
If I ever wake up and see Bonker looking down on me- I better be a. really sick and hurt in his helicopter or b. have a gun in my hand.

[/ QUOTE ]

Or C. in the recovery room after getting something removed that my wife inserted after I told her I bought more land and a bigger tractor.

And the only reason I'd be in the recovery room with you would be to offer my sympathy and practice keeping a straight face.

The 'Bonker
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom