teeroy
Life Member
Reportedly, these are actual quotes taken from Federal Government
>employee performance evaluations.
>
>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
>started to dig."
>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of
>definite won't be."
>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
>in a trap."
>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
>6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
>achieve them."
>8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
>10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
>together."
>11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
>12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>13. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
>14. "He's been working with glue too much."
>15. "He would argue with a signpost."
>16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
>one."
>19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
>coming."
>23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
>for it."
>24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
>25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>28. "One neuron short of a synapse."
>29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'."
>employee performance evaluations.
>
>1. "Since my last report, this employee has reached rock-bottom and has
>started to dig."
>2. "I would not allow this employee to breed."
>3. "This employee is really not so much of a has-been, but more of
>definite won't be."
>4. "Works well when under constant supervision and cornered like a rat
>in a trap."
>5. "When she opens her mouth, it seems that it is only to change feet."
>6. "This young lady has delusions of adequacy."
>7. "He sets low personal standards and then consistently fails to
>achieve them."
>8. "This employee is depriving a village somewhere of an idiot."
>9. "This employee should go far, and the sooner he starts, the better."
>10. "Got a full 6-pack, but lacks the plastic thingy to hold it all
>together."
>11. "A gross ignoramus -- 144 times worse than an ordinary ignoramus."
>12. "He doesn't have ulcers, but he's a carrier."
>13. "The wheel is turning, but the hamster is dead."
>14. "He's been working with glue too much."
>15. "He would argue with a signpost."
>16. "He brings a lot of joy whenever he leaves the room."
>17. "When his IQ reaches 50, he should sell."
>18. "If you see two people talking and one looks bored, he's the other
>one."
>19. "A photographic memory but with the lens cover glued on."
>20. "A prime candidate for natural de-selection."
>21. "Donated his brain to science before he was done using it."
>22. "Gates are down, the lights are flashing, but the train isn't
>coming."
>23. "He's got two brains cells, one is lost and the other is out looking
>for it."
>24. "If he were any more stupid, he'd have to be watered twice a week."
>25. "If you give him a penny for his thoughts, you'd get change."
>26. "If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean."
>27. "It's hard to believe he beat out 1,000,000 other sperm."
>28. "One neuron short of a synapse."
>29. "Some drink from the fountain of knowledge; he only gargled."
>30. "Takes him 2 hours to watch '60 Minutes'."
