Lord I humbly beseech Thee to hear my heartfelt prayer in this my time of utmost need. I thank Thee for Thy gracious bounty and the gifts Thou hast bestowed upon me. Thy best gift is the gift of the big screen TV that one of your other greatest gifts to me, my wife, and I brought forth from Best Buy today. We thank Thee for guiding us through the wilderness that is TV features, price points and over indulgence, to be delivered unto Adam the young man to whom you so graciously bestowed the gift of electronics knowledge.
Today I am asking for the wisdom, patience and courage it will require of me, your most humble of servants, to be able to read, understand and follow the instructions for connecting all the components so that we may enjoy Your bounty in all its electronic glory.
And Lord I pray that you give my wife the wisdom to hold her counsel as I embark upon this perilous journey that is sure to be a visit to the gates of electronics hell. Then may You deliver me safely unto my easy chair so that I may watch the Packers, led by Your most Holy of Angles, St. Lombardy, as they smite the godless Bears with Thine sword of righteousness.
Amen