teeroy
Life Member
The Guys' Rules
>>> > >>
>>> > >> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
>>>Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>>> > (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>> > >>
>>> > >> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here
>>>are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
>>> > >> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
>>>it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
>>>hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
>>>of the tides. Let it be.
>>> > >> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
>>>think of it that way.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>>>Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
>>>hints do not work! Just say it!
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
>>>every question.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
>>>solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
>>>are for.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
>>>a doctor.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>>argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
>>>days.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>>>don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask
>>>us.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
>>>one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
>>>you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do
>>>it, just do it yourself.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
>>>during commercials.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
>>>neither do we.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
>>>settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
>>>is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothin! g," we
>>>will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
>>>just not worth the hassle.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>>>expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
>>>wear is fine... Really.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>>>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
>>>formation, or monster trucks.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
>>>sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't
>>>mind that? It's like camping.
>>> > >>
>>> > >>
>>> > >> At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down.
>>>Finally, the guys' side of the story.
>>> > (I must admit, it's pretty good.)
>>> > >>
>>> > >> We always hear "the rules" from the female side. Now here
>>>are the rules from the male side. These are our rules!
>>> > >> Please note... these are all numbered "1" ON PURPOSE!
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Learn to work the toilet seat. You're a big girl. If
>>>it's up, put it down. We need it up, you need it down. You don't
>>>hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Sunday sports. It's like the full moon or the changing
>>>of the tides. Let it be.
>>> > >> 1. Shopping is NOT a sport. And no, we are never going to
>>>think of it that way.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Crying is blackmail.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Ask for what you want. Let us be clear on this one:
>>>Subtle hints do not work! Strong hints do not work! Obvious
>>>hints do not work! Just say it!
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost
>>>every question.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help
>>>solving it. That's what we do. Sympathy is what your girlfriends
>>>are for.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. A headache that lasts for 17 months is a problem. See
>>>a doctor.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an
>>>argument. In fact, all comments become null and void after 7
>>>days.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you won't dress like the Victoria's Secret girls,
>>>don't expect us to act like soap opera guys.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you think you're fat, you probably are. Don't ask
>>>us.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and
>>>one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You can either ask us to do something or tell us how
>>>you want it done. Not both. If you already know best how to do
>>>it, just do it yourself.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Whenever possible, please say whatever you have to say
>>>during commercials.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Christopher Columbus did not need directions and
>>>neither do we.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default
>>>settings. Peach, for example, is a fruit, not a color. Pumpkin
>>>is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If it itches, it will be scratched. We do that.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If we ask what is wrong and you say nothin! g," we
>>>will act like nothing's wrong. We know you are lying, but it is
>>>just not worth the hassle.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to,
>>>expect an answer you don't want to hear.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you
>>>wear is fine... Really.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are
>>>prepared to discuss such topics as baseball, the shotgun
>>>formation, or monster trucks.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You have enough clothes.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. You have too many shoes.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. I am in shape. Round is a shape.
>>> > >>
>>> > >> 1. Thank you for reading this. Yes, I know, I have to
>>>sleep on the couch tonight; but did you know men really don't
>>>mind that? It's like camping.
>>> > >>
