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The Man Rules

BuckStop

BuckStop

New Member
I received this in an email a while back and after being encouraged by reading up on the marital advise from the legends forum, here is some advise from another perspective.

Have you heard about the The Rules? They are usually from the female's perspective, but dang it what about The Man Rules.

For the record, I neither condone nor condemn these rules.


The Man Rules­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­­
At last a guy has taken the time to write this all down

These are our rules!
Please note.. these are all numbered "1 "
ON PURPOSE!

1. Men are NOT mind readers.

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.

1. Sunday sports It's like the full moon
or the changing of the tides.
Let it be.

1. Shopping is NOT a sport.
And no, we are never going to think of it that way.

1. Crying is blackmail.

1. Ask for what you want.
Let us be clear on this one:
Subtle hints do not work!
Strong hints do not work!
Obvious hints do not work!
Just say it!

1. Yes and No are perfectly acceptable answers to almost every question.

1. Come to us with a problem only if you want help solving it. That's what we do.
Sympathy is what your girlfriends are for.


1. Anything we said 6 months ago is inadmissible in an argument.
In fact, all comments become Null and void after 7 Days.


1. If you think you're fat, you probably are.
Don't ask us.

1. If something we said can be interpreted two ways and one of the ways makes you sad or angry, we meant the other one

1. You can either ask us to do something
Or tell us how you want it done.
Not both.
If you already know best how to do it, just do it yourself.

1. Whenever possible, Please say whatever you have to say during commercials..

1. Christopher Columbus did NOT need directions and neither do we.

1. ALL men see in only 16 colors, like Windows default settings.
Peach, for example, is a fruit, not A color. Pumpkin is also a fruit. We have no idea what mauve is .

1. If it itches, it will be scratched.
We do that.

1. If we ask what is wrong and you say "nothing," We will act like nothing's wrong.
We know you are lying, but it is just not worth the hassle.

1. If you ask a question you don't want an answer to, Expect an answer you don't want to hear.

1. When we have to go somewhere, absolutely anything you wear is fine... Really .

1. Don't ask us what we're thinking about unless you are prepared to discuss such topics as baseball
or golf.

1. You have enough clothes.

1. You have too many shoes.

1. I am in shape. Round IS a shape!

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
 
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BuckStop1</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

1. Learn to work the toilet seat.
You're a big girl. If it's up, put it down.
We need it up, you need it down.
You don't hear us complaining about you leaving it down.
</div></div>

It could stay down forever really, we'd just pee on it and move on with our lives. /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
 
great, laughing my rear off, but you forgot a few, if anyone else has some , chime in.
1- The to do list, that mystriously shows up on the fridge the night before your days off-and its all inside stuff that our kids could do if you could only pull them away from the x-box or their cell phones.what about OUR list , in the shop taking care of the outside stuff, cars, yrd work, and everything else that s falling apart around the house that needs fixed, we have to keep those up right?
1- youve been talking about going hunting this weekend all thru the week, you have brought all your hunting gear upstairs from your den the night before to get that early start, only to be asked the morning of while having coffee, can you take the dogs to the groomer and pick them up which is a 4 hr feasko , SURE can, would that be next weekend when im not hunting, or today when i get back from hunting.
1-the clothes issue, they gripe because you dont help with the laundry( i can seperate clothes and wash them) but bygod ,do not put them in the wrong drawers!- rooms! my boys wear the same shirts, whats the difference?
1- one of my favs, youve worked outside allday , after a few beers you shower up,,and settle in to watch a great game , only to hear, i was thinking we could go out tonight,( you dont respond, why, were figuring theryre still thinking about it, dont wait until after kickoff , and were hunkered in in our easy chair to ask again, im not a mind reader, it took the first offensive play of the game for them to realize they really wanted to go?
1-if they do talk us into it, the famous question, does this look good on me?they have had all day to think about it, i can think of one thing that would, but,we wont get into that fellas!( we;d get that wrong to)
1-the what do you want for supper?( you didnt see the deer steaks i laid out?( i dont like those, ) then why did you ask. you should have asked yourself what you were having for supper!
1- the " i thought you new line" you have a posted note around the house for everything else, why not one for this, im not a mind reader.
1- the rememeber what they want card- as a guy, ive messed this up,you cant forget b-days.,wedding days, valentines day ect. i would suggest you buy a pocket calender and mark the important dates( their posted notes again would come in handy,giving us those suddle hints, but dont bet on it these times of the yr).its funny, we can remember opening days , but not those special dates! Blame it on Denny Crane, Mad Cow!
keep um coming guys , i know theres more.
 
You don't hunt, I don't go to "River Dance".

I don't spend time with my own mother so why in the hell would I want to spend time with yours?

I wouldn't loan my own brother cab fare so why should I bail your's outta jail?

If you don't like farts, don't feed me chilli.

When it's my night to cook it's goona be frozen pizza, it has always been frozen pizza and will always be frozen pizza. I like it, get over it.

Tater tots are too a complete meal. You just have to eat more of them.

Yes dear, your car is making a funny noise. No dear I don't know how to fix it, unless the sound is coming from the missing cat and it's caught in the fan belt. No I didn't put it there. They're cats, they look for a warm place to sleep, it's what they do.

The 'Bonker
 
/forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/laugh.gif Fantastic they should have that as required reading in 8th grade so there is no confusion later in life..Its not there fault its in there dna /forum/images/%%GRAEMLIN_URL%%/grin.gif
 
1. Man discovered the cure for nymphomania- a wedding ring.
1. Divorce is expensive. It is worth it.
1. It is always "happy hour" somewhere.
1. If you have to ask, the answer is yes
 
<div class="ubbcode-block"><div class="ubbcode-header">Originally Posted By: BuckStop</div><div class="ubbcode-body">

1. Thank you for reading this.
Yes, I know, I have to sleep on the couch tonight;


But did you know men really don't mind that? It's like camping.
</div></div>

I am new here, so I'll iterate that I love my wife immensely, but man was I nieve thinkingt at the start, "oh we will never argue, we'll have few disagreements but never A R G U E"

With that said, lets just I find this one the funniest.

And iowabigbucks, I am with you on the clothe washing thing. My wife will work a 12 hour stift at the hospital. She comes home to clean house but I haven't had time to fold the laundry too. We have 3 boys of whom the oldest is 5 so my house is like a zoo most of time. So I don't get it, you would think it would be easier not to have to wash.
 
Buckstop,
im with you , i have a 17 yr old daughter, 16 yr old son, and a 10 yr old son,my challenges are just begining, they cant even figure out where the laundry shoot is!I think we should start a thread on excuses from kids.
i couldnt fill the dishwasher with my dirty dishes , because it was full of clean ones!
i couldnt dry the clothes in the washer because the dryer had some in it!
my thought, empty both on a regalar basis and this proablem wouldnt exist.put them away.
i couldnt vacume because all the outlets have airfreashners in them-- unplug one--plug the vacume in, not rocket science.
when i ask why there is stuff lying around thats garbage, why aint it in the garbage?the answer i get, its full!then take it out and change the lineragain , not rocket science!i love my kids dearly, but, as you all know , if it dont have gas money to it, or a remote- 360 controller to it, they dont get it.
dont get me wrong, my kids keep their rooms tidy, and will do anything i ask , but-- you have to ask to get it done.all part of parenting i guess.
Buck stop, you have 3 boys, your challenges will be fourthcoming, but youll get through it.it keeps us young i guess, wouldnt traid my 3 children for the world!
 
My favorite:
Hey honey what ya say we go to the bedroom and... "Not now I am starving I just got home from work."
Afer Dinner:
Hey honey..., "Not now I am too full."
As I lay on my pillow, Hey baby..., "Not now I am too tired, you should have asked me earlier!"
 
cor dor,
im with ya on this one- the tease factor i call it.they wave it infront of you before the big night out with freinds.and all night long you get those settle hints , BUT, the wine kicks in when you get home, and the wives are the first to go to bed and by the time you tuck the kids in, change clothes, and head to to the honeymoon suit, its game over!You could drive a truck thru a nitro glysrin plant and not wake them up.you can chalk this one up( another one ) AS YOU TRIED.Just like deer hunting, so close to the trophey, but somthing happens that you just didnt score!
 
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