teeroy
Life Member
Taken from police car videos around the country:
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any
redder that the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a
while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll
make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per
second? Because that's ! the spe ed of the bullet
that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I
guess that means I can write anything I want to on
the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift
supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did
I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give you
another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will
determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey
Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me! to be fair? Listen,
fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat
cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through
NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say
you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We
used to, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know
someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women
tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
#16 "You know, stop lights don't come any
redder that the one you just went through."
#15 "Relax, the handcuffs are tight because
they're new. They'll stretch after you wear them a
while."
# 14 "If you take your hands off the car, I'll
make your birth certificate a worthless document."
#13 "If you run, you'll only go to jail tired."
#12 "Can you run faster than 1200 feet per
second? Because that's ! the spe ed of the bullet
that'll be chasing you."
#11 "You don't know how fast you were going? I
guess that means I can write anything I want to on
the ticket, huh?"
#10 "Yes, sir, you can talk to the shift
supervisor, but I don't think it will help. Oh, did
I mention that I'm the shift supervisor?"
#9 "Warning! You want a warning? O.K., I'm
warning you not to do that again or I'll give you
another ticket."
#8 "The answer to this last question will
determine whether you are drunk or not. Was Mickey
Mouse a cat or a dog?"
#7 "Fair? You want me! to be fair? Listen,
fair is a place where you go to ride on rides, eat
cotton candy and corn dogs and step in monkey poop."
#6 "Yeah, we have a quota. Two more tickets
and my wife gets a toaster oven."
#5 "In God we trust, all others we run through
NCIC."
#4 "How big were those 'Just two beers' you say
you had?"
#3 "No sir, we don't have quotas anymore. We
used to, but now we're allowed to write as many
tickets as we can."
#2 "I'm glad to hear that Chief (of Police)
Hawker is a personal friend of yours. So you know
someone who can post your bail."
AND THE WINNER IS....
#1 "You didn't think we give pretty women
tickets? You're right, we don't. Sign here."
