This reminds me of an old story, maybe circa 2001-2002?
I was hunting in North Cent. KS when this exact problem came about. The tract I was hunting was a very small woodlot connected by brushy fence lines from the N,S,E, and West. The sign in this spot was the kind you dream about hunting over. My hopes were high! After getting into the stand flawlessly, I was stoked. It was going to be a dream hunt or so I thought.
Not more than 30 minutes into it the cramps began. Having had an undesirable experience on an unsuccessful bear hunt earlier that year
, I knew not to try and ward of mother natures calls. So, I climbed down the tree as fast as possible knowing that I likely would have little time once on the ground. I ran as far down wind as I could get along the fence row, then it was upon me.
Unfortunately, TP was one of the things I had failed to pack with me that day. The next best thing I could come up with was my gloves. I am not a real big fan of the "sock method" as it makes for sweaty feet that end up cold and blistered.
Anyway, I was able to get the situation under control minus a couple of decent gloves. Happy with the outcome I headed back up the fence row to my 30 foot perch.
The day was going pretty poorly and the deer were staying hidden for the most part. The "Duker" might have had something to do with that. I will never know, because right as primetime was upon me, an ATV appeared in the distance making its way toward me.
This is where things got interesting. I figured since I had put all the effort into getting set up and there was no time to change locations, I would just watch the farmer as he checked his fence out. About the time he got to my deposit his wife showed up from another direction. They got off the wheelers and proceeded to check the fence out. As I watched them through the binoculars I was apparent that times must have been tough for these two. Both were dressed like hoboes, twine holding up the holey pants and all that jazz.
They were getting dangerously close to my pile. The wife was the first to spot it. She pointed across the fence and her husband made his way over. I was thinking to myself "what in the hell are they doing"? The husband had spotted the gloves.
OK, I thought you figured this out, now just go on your way and maybe, just maybe a miracle will happen and a 170 will come down one of the fence rows you didn't screw up. But, oh no, he heads for the gloves and picks them up. He shows them to his wife who genuinely looks excited.
"What the hell?" I say to myself as the entertainment unfolds. Just when I thought it couldn't get any worse, he decides to stick them up to his nose for a whiff!! Instantly, he jerks his head back. . At this point, I am almost falling out of the tree trying to keep from laughing and giving my position away.
And almost if he didn't believe what he had smelled the first time, he goes in for second whiff, causing another seizure like jerk of the head. By now the wife is sitting there right next to him looking over his shoulder to see what all the convulsions are about. Still hanging onto the gloves he turns to her and they chat about something real quick. He then puts the gloves in his pocket and heads back to the ATV with a big smile on his face. The joy on his face was something you would expect had he just hit the Powerball.
The couple then rides off together, both looking like the ENZYTE man.
