teeroy
Life Member
pretty sure i've put this on before, but the classics always need retold
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
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Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up
a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support you.
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Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that
allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
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How do you know when a woman is about to say
something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
me..."
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How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
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Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build
up the required pressure.
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If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him
in.
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What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
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I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
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Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
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Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
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Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
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In the beginning, God created the earth and
rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
Men strike back! ! ! ! ! ! !
How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened when she brings it.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up
a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support you.
--------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that
allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you know when a woman is about to say
something smart?
When she starts a sentence with "A man once told
me..."
-------------------------------------------------------------------
How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men fart more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to build
up the required pressure.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, who do you let in first?
The dog, of course. He'll shut up once you let him
in.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
I married a Miss Right.
I just didn't know her first name was Always.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are sexy.
-------------------------------------------------------------------
In the beginning, God created the earth and
rested. Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has rested.
