sometimes, it pays to speak german

[teeroy]

An Amish farmer walking through his field notices a man drinking from his
> pond, with his hand.
>
> The Amish man shouts:
>
> "Trinken Sie nicht das Wasser, die Kuhe und die Schweine haben in ihm
> geschissen!"
>
> Which means: "Don't drink the water, the cows and the pigs have s%!t in
> it!"
>
> The man shouts back: "I'm a Muslim, I don't understand your gibberish.
> Speak English, infidel!"
>
> The Amish man shouts back in English:
>
> "Use two hands, you'll get more!"

 

[JakeWym]

 

[DE2IA]

Two guys are out hunting, and walking along when they come upon a
> huge hole in the ground. They approach it and are amazed by its size.
>
> The first hunter says "Wow, that's some hole, I can't even see the
> bottom, I wonder how deep it is?"
>
> The second hunter says" I don't know, let's throw something down there
> and listen, to see how long it takes to hit bottom."
>
> The first hunter says "There's this old transmission here, give me a
> hand and we'll throw it in."
>
> They pick it up, carry it over, and count one, and two and three, and
> heave it into the hole. They're standing there listening and looking
> over the edge and hear a rustling in the brush behind them. They turn
> around and see a goat come crashing through the brush, run up to the
> hole, and with no hesitation, and jump in head first.
>
> They're standing there looking at each other, looking in the hole, and
> trying to figure out what that was all about, when an old farmer runs
> up and says, "You fellers see my goat?"
>
> The first hunter says, "Funny you should ask, but we were just
> standing here a minute ago when a goat came running out of the bushes
> doin' about a hunert miles an hour and jumped headfirst into this here hole!"
>
> The old farmer said "That's impossible, I had him chained to a
> transmission!"

 

[SouthernIowa]

thats some funny stuff guys lol

 

[JakeWym]