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New Product

Fishbonker

Fishbonker

Life Member
I have always tried to be an innovator in the hunting industry but the only real claim to fame and fortune I have is the invention of the ‘Bonker Blocker. There is always ‘Bonkerfluage but that was just a renaming of an already proven product. Follow this link: http://iowabowhunters.org/bowwin2010.pdf and scroll down to ‘Bonker’s World to read about how the ‘Bonker Blocker came to be. ‘Bonkerflauge is well chronicled somewhere on this site.

Not one to rest on my laurels, I have come up with a new product. This product will so revolutionize hunting as you know it yet is soooooo simple you will bonk yourself in the head for not thinking of it before me. If you followed the link and read about the ‘Bonker Blocker you could see that I needed some thinkin juice to come up with that product, but not for this one.

My new product is so easy to use my prostaffers figured it out without, in true man form, even reading the instructions. Granted, one of my prostaffers wore his ‘Bonker Blocker on top of a tall hill in a lightning storm and was subsequently struck by lightning. He has since made a full recovery, well, recovery to what is a valid question but even he is able to use my new product.

My new product is portable, does not require electricity so there is never a worry about dead batteries or extension cords that are too short. My product is scalable to fit whatever pack size you use. You can use as little or as much as you want. My product is 100% natural, organic and bio-degradable. My new product is made in America. In fact this product is made right here in Linn County Iowa.

OK, enough of a tease, by now I’m sure you all have your credit cards out and are ready to order. My new product is called, drum roll please……….¢entaway. My product is colorless, odorless and has been tested by the Iowa Hygienics Laboratory to be safe for use by humans either internally or externally.

Here is how ¢entaway works, you send me your money and I’ll send you whatever amount of my water you need. I guarantee that ¢entaway will absolutely take your ¢ents away. I charge by the pound so a gallon of my ¢entaway will cost $8.35 plus shipping and handling. Recommended minimum order is 1 gallon. Shipping is less on smaller amounts but I charge more for handling smaller containers. Plus I have plenty of old milk and pesticide jugs around.

The only trouble I’m having is deciding on a catch phrase for my product. I thought “Let my ¢entsaway take your ¢ents away” or maybe “Let ¢entsaway take you sense away” “This is a no nonscents product” “This noscents stuff is nonsense” “¢entsaway, making poor folks rich and rich folks poor”.

If you have any catch phrases for my ¢entsaway let me hear ‘em and I’ll cut you in on the net profits.

I’m off to the patent office, sure hope the line isn’t very long.
 
How much if I come to your place and fill up my own containers? I have old milk jugs or maybe just a cup at a time.
 
I don’t usually discriminate against anybody, but because of your avatar you’re lookin at about 1K/gallon and I’ll put your jug on the outflow pipe for my septic. Even recycled ‘Bonker piss is too good for Bears fans. Tell ya what. You just bring over a jug and I’ll fill it up direct from the source. Might be a few hairs in it though.
 
You are on a role today. Since the liquid form of your product is now hitting the market, do you plan on inventing something to compete with Ozonics? Curious.
 
JakeWym said:
do you plan on inventing something to compete with Ozonics? Curious.
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Nope. I don’t believe in re-inventing the wheel and ozonics’ competition was invented a very long time ago. In this case the wheel that doesn't need to be re-invented is common sense.
 
I'd like to see some testing done first before I send you my check.........Can you send Skip and Todd a gallon each so I can hear their input on the product please........???
 
Critter said:
I'd like to see some testing done
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Testing shmesting, the proof comes when you send me your CASH because then for sure my ¢entaway worked. Your ¢ent is then in my pocket. What more proof does a guy need?
My next big product announcement will be coming soon. Just to tease it up a bit think broadhead in a can. I’m still working out the details with the DNR. Seems there are mixed opinions on my products' legality and ‘Bonker is way too cute to spend time in the pokey.
 
I am intrigued by your product but....Until WKP Todd endorses it, I will not use it. He only uses things that are 100% real and always work.
 
breiner11 said:
I am intrigued by your product but....Until WKP Todd endorses it, I will not use it. He only uses things that are 100% real and always work.
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That the beauty of €entaway 60% of the time it works every time. You don't need an endorsement to promise you that.

Sent from my iPhone using IW
 
timekiller said:
That the beauty of €entaway 60% of the time it works every time.
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Damit. You just poked a hole in my business plan big enough for the crush bus to drive through. ¢entaway only works if you send me your money. Huh. I guess we will see how much common sense there is out there. I was sure ¢entaway would work 100% of the time but perhaps I underestimated the common sense of the common hunter. Bet I never make that mistake again. Broadhead in a can may have a delayed roll out party. Damn. My prostaffers were counting on the extra sales.

Now wait a second, if 60% of the hunters send me their ¢ents for ¢entaway 100% of the time, I’m still money ahead. I’ll just have to fly commercial instead of renting a Lear jet. Oh well. 1st class is better than no class and The 'Bonker is nuthin but class.
 
Almost a completely unrelated topic...who the hell is Dick Paul? Is that the guy who owns the taxy shop in Red Oak?
 
TeenageHunter said:
Almost a completely unrelated topic...who the hell is Dick Paul? Is that the guy who owns the taxy shop in Red Oak?
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Almost?

Sent from my iPhone using IW
 
get that beiber lookin goof to endorse it, you will get all the money you can handle, from the only market that spends their money more unwisely than hunters..........
teenage girls
 
There will be a support group meeting for Bonker's pro staff at his house on Halloween night. He will provide candy since he always goes trick or treating. CENTAWAY samples will be given away in direct proportion to the amount of beer you bring. For more info call 1-000-555-5555. Costumes optional but recommended to protect your identity.
 
Bonker,
You really have my wheels turning, if you are looking for a business partner in central IA I am in.

I think the "Bonker Blocker" could catch on, so I curled up in front of the fire with some "thinking juice" and had a idea.

First I am afraid the aluminum in the mineral might conduct electricity making small bucks as perceptive as the big ones and the bigs bucks may be able to pick up the brain dead hunters.

So I think we could grind up old tires into powder form, add that to our mineral this will work its way through the deer this should kill their conductivity, this will leave them unable to recieve brain waves.

We can get up and coming central IA country singer "SARA DARLING" to endorce, wait - wait , no we will use Jason Brown he preforms alot and is not quite as well known so he will be cheaper - plus he used to be an electrician so he will be able to make our product relatable to the brain dead hunters also.

Being we are using ground up tires we will get the " recycle " endorsement.

I fell asleep and woke up thiking about a new broad head since the rubber eating deer may be able to reflect traditional broad heads, they may bounce off the new rubber induced deer:drink2:.

If you send me some of your "thinking juice" free of charge I can act as your advisor.:drink1:

BOWDUDE
 
Great idea! I am curious if you plan on selling it in a stick or maybe a block type form. Ya know, easier cleanup if you drop it and also less waste. Especially if its windy. Would this solid form cost more?
 
oh2b said:
Great idea! I am curious if you plan on selling it in a stick or maybe a block type form. Ya know, easier cleanup if you drop it and also less waste. Especially if its windy. Would this solid form cost more?
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Hmmmmmm, I could sell it as a solid. I’d have to charge way more for it because I’d have to factor in the cost of freezing it. UPS, FED EX and USPS prolly wouldn’t appreciate all the soggy packages though. I suppose you could freeze your ¢entaway after you receive it and save some ¢ents.
 
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